“I didn’t even want to sing the pledge today because I was so ashamed of this country.”
“I woke up today and it feels like a bad dream. The last time we had an election, it was like ‘ok, we have a new president.’ That’s the way things are supposed to go. This time it just all feels so wrong.”
“I thought I loved everyone, but I just don’t know if I can love people who think that way. I’m trying to.”
My heart was breaking as I heard these words from my daughter yesterday.
In the year+ leading up the election, she asked me about Donald Trump a lot. While we did talk about the election and she knew I was a Hillary supporter, I didn’t go into all the specific horrible things Trump had said on the record. She did however see things online or hear them at school. After all, our kids do live in an information age. Sadly, I found out that she even knows the famous “grab ’em by the pussy” line, his judgement and name-calling of women based on their appearance, the Muslim ban, and more.
Before the election, I told her that I truly believed there was more love than hate in the world.
I told her we would be OK because there were enough good, accepting people to vote against racism, misogyny, and discrimination.
I was wrong.
Many people are upset, hurt, and angry over the election results. As adults, we have seen our share of ups and downs in the country. However, it’s a different story for the kids in America who can only remember a constantly progressing world where new celebrations of acceptance have been the norm. She’s seen marriage equality become law. Thanks to new movements bullying is finally starting to be treated more seriously and more than just “kids being kids.” She embraces LGBTQ acceptance. We have talked about the separation between entire religions and the fringe groups that cause terror in this world.
Although I haven’t gotten into it on this blog yet, our family has been intimately affected by sexual abuse as well. My daughter has been assured that it is never OK, that it’s not the victim’s fault, and that we work hard to see that justice is served for those actions.
And now the country just voted in a person who embodies the opposite of all that.
As a result, she’s getting shoved into a world that goes against everything I’ve ever taught her.
That’s a challenge to explain.
When I first posted those quotes on my personal social media, there was a bit of a backlash implying that I was teaching my daughter to be disrespectful of other people’s beliefs. So let me clarify…
She and I talk about love a lot. Not love in a one-on-one relationship with someone you know personally, but love for our fellow men/women. I always tell her–and mean it–that I love EVERYONE. No matter who it is on the street, in the car next to me, on another continent, or someone who is different from me ideologically in every way. I still care about that person as an individual and would help them if I had the opportunity. She had adopted this same philosophy over the years.
So when she says she’s having a hard time loving everyone, she doesn’t mean the individual friends and family members who voted against peace and love. She means the country..the world. Those who want to take away liberties from other citizens of this planet. Those who hate based on race, religion, or gender, or sexual orientation. She’s struggling with finding love for the part of our society that is in the dark and trying to pull our country backwards.
I was thankful that she brought up what she was thinking and worrying about yesterday, for each statement that she made led to a much longer conversation focused on love and hope.
I told her that we just have to come to accept it and hope that he does a better job than we think. I told her that this is how our democracy works–we don’t always win. It’s understandable to be sad today, but we can remain optimistic and we will get to vote again in 4 years and hope for a better outcome. I also showed her the numbers of the younger demographic–and how it fills me with hope knowing that the younger generation that will be stepping up the plate soon is a much more accepting version of America.
I hope I am right, and I hope she doesn’t lose her faith in the good in the world.
