Just me, trying to figure things out. Enjoying life, being love, processing trauma, getting healthy, finding my voice, and being an ever-evolving best version of myself.
It’s just after 3am on a Friday morning and I’ve been up for hours.
My mind and my body were yelling a wake-up call at me, and I had to answer.
My head won’t let me sleep because my thoughts are racing since I haven’t given myself an outlet to write about them. I’m still doing the Bullet Journal thing, which is GREAT for the day-to-day to-do’s and calendar planning, as well as tracking ideas as they come up. But, I have been horrible with routine planning and journaling.
My body won’t let me sleep because my schedule has been all over the place, my skin is itching like crazy because I haven’t taken my daily allergy pill or figured out the trigger, and I’m uncomfortable and puffy from eating junk and not drinking enough water.
I could have pushed through the unease and gone back to bed, albeit fitfully. But I can’t do that anymore.
So I’m getting up, showering to relieve my skin, taking my medicine, writing this, and getting back on track with things.
Sometime earlier this year I read about the daily practice of “morning pages.” I’m not sure where I saw it.
Basically it means to start off the day by opening up a journal and just writing whatever comes to mind until you fill three pages. You don’t pay attention to spelling, handwriting, grammar, etc–you just write anything and everything as it comes up. This is different from a typical journal. It’s not about chronicling the events of the day or writing a story of any kind. The purpose is to just get your thoughts flowing.
I toyed with this idea for a few weeks and really liked it. I had just previously revamped my basement into a more functional room for all my hobbies and loved heading down there in the morning to write and meditate. Shortly after that, we had a flood in the basement that we didn’t catch for a couple of days–it made a huge mess and required a lot of cleaning to get the place back in shape. I didn’t go back to the habit.
A few weeks ago, I started the practice again and am finding it really useful. A big issue I have is being caught up in thoughts–they spiral around my mind in a series of flashes of brilliance or bouts of worry but never get pulled out into anything concrete. Taking the time to do this different type of brain dump has done two things for me:
1. It clears up my mind. I’ve already written about how I’ve started to write down all tasks, plans, lists, etc in my planner and my version of a bullet journal which has made me much more productive since I don’t spend all my time thinking about and trying to remember things. But now that the “to-do’s” are cleared out, instead it is concepts, ideas, and philosophies that are causing some brain blockage. The morning pages habit give me an outlet to spew out some of that mind clutter and makes me more efficient.
2. It takes small thoughts and develops them into something more complete. It starts with a quick sentence–just something that comes up. Normally it would just stop there, but now this process allows me to dig a little deeper.
I find it funny–you don’t even realize how much is there until you get past the top layer. I’ll start to write about a topic and think that it will be short, but once things get flowing so much more comes out. Journaling in an informal format like morning pages makes it easy to just let things naturally come out of my brain and onto paper. It really works as a tool to get to know yourself better.
I’m looking forward to seeing what else I discover as time goes on.
Ahh, The Bullet Journal. AKA The BuJo. (Never heard of it? go here.)
I’m new to the game, and I have both loved and loathed it while trying to make it work for me over these first months.
The theory is nice:
The Bullet Journal is a customizable and forgiving organization system.
It can be your to-do list, sketchbook, notebook, and diary, but most likely, it will be all of the above.
It will teach you to do more with less.
Pinterest search for “Bullet Journal Ideas”
And then you sit down to get started. It’s a pretty open-ended concept, so it can be a little tricky figuring out where to begin. Looking for details on how to get started, you check out Pinterest. Yikes.
It seems like there’s a lot more to it than you thought, so perhaps you join a BuJo group on Facebook, like Bullet Journal Junkies, to get some community support and more ideas.
Bullet Journal Junkies FB Group Photos
“Wow, these monthly layouts and tracking pages are REALLY beautiful and complex. I don’t know if I can make one that looks like that.”
That’s what I was thinking as I was planning to create my journal. I’m sure I’m not the only one. We can’t all be accomplished artists!
I really wanted the BuJo concept to work for me, but between not feeling artsy enough and some aspects not working smoothly for me I started to feel like it was a failed project.
Then, I took a step back and decided to make it work for just ME. In the end, what I have isn’t quite a “Bullet Journal,” but rather a hybrid of different organizer styles and ideas.
Here’s what I learned along the way:
1.Pretty is nice, but it’s not the most important part.
The ultimate goal of a Bullet Journal is to get organized, stay on track, and have an outlet to capture thoughts, ideas, memories, etc. Make that your #1 priority at all times with the BuJo. Get in the habit of writing things down as soon as you think of them.
For example, if you get a film recommendation from a friend and want to remember, don’t delay starting a “Movies to Watch” list because you don’t have time to draw a movie reel and a box of popcorn and find the perfect Hollywoodesque border. Just start the list. You can always go back to it later and spruce things up when you have free time and are feeling creative.
I have about 30 hideous lists in progress right now–and that’s totally fine. What matters is that my ideas are in order and my life is better structured.
2. There are no rules.
What works for one person isn’t necessarily going to work for everyone. Start with the basic format of a monthly, weekly, daily layout plus personal trackers and just go with it.
For me, there were two big pieces that I had to allow myself to let go of:
Example of a flexible daily spread in Day-Timer organizer.
#1 – Starting with pre-printed organizer pages is just fine. I already owned a lovely Day-Timer desk-size organizer with monthly spreads and daily pages. I began to look at hand-drawn layouts and it felt like a lot of work to have to do that for every week/month just to start. When I gave in and decided it was perfectly acceptable to use my existing planner, things got much easier. I never used the sections of the daily pages as they were written anyway, so I just viewed the printed layout as a frame and did my own thing. It’s flexible, easy, and saves me hours.
#2 – It’s OK to have more than one journal/organizer. As I mentioned above, I have a lot of lists. Everything from house cleaning lists to travel ideas to new hobbies to try and more are in there. What I quickly came to realize was that I really didn’t need to have everything with me at all times. I DID need my daily planning pages though. So I split! I have my Day-Timer for calendar planning, to-do’s, daily inspirations, current project reminders, etc. Then I have a binder with all my other lists and planners. If I think of a list item during the day, I jot it down in my Day-Timer (or text it to myself if I don’t have it near me). Then when I reboot my daily pages I get everything into the right places. My need to purge ideas immediately is solved, and I have a lovely binder where I can keep all my bigger picture stuff. It’s great to be able to use different styles of paper, folders, and more in there rather than just a dotted notebook, too.
3. It doesn’t have to be expensive.
I promise, you don’t really “NEED” all this to get organized.
Leuchtturm 1917 Notebook, Staedtler pens, calligraphy markers, washi tape, stickers, post-its….the supply list for getting started with a bullet journal can have you dropping a lot of dough at the craft store.
Don’t feel pressured to give in. You can be just as organized with a $1 composition book and a regular old pen.
Now, that doesn’t mean that you can’t buy that super cute holiday washi tape you see at the store. Indulge if you want to, but don’t feel it’s a necessity.
4. Trial, error, correct.
There are a lot of great ideas out there. Some immediately “Wow!” you, but in practice they don’t turn out so hot.
See? It’s not pretty, but it does the trick!
This has happened me a lot as I figure things out. I loved the idea of checking off my AM/PM routines every day, but in practice writing it out got tedious. And if I did it just weekly, it wasn’t “in my face” enough to get me to follow though. My solution? A laminated piece of card stock with daily/weekly repeating tasks that I can check off with an Expo marker, wipe off, and reuse. This card just travels with me in the daily pages section of my organizer.
Along the same line, there’s a very good chance that your first draft isn’t going to be the final draft. In all reality, there probably is never going to be a final, perfect version since life is not static! Don’t let it bother you to have a messy handwritten addition to an existing tracker. It’s much better to just edit it for a couple of weeks to get it closer to complete, THEN print/draw a new version.
What I have now might not technically fit the BuJo definition, but The Bullet Journal concept inspired me to start getting organized. In that regard, it was a total success.
My biggest lesson: When we let go of our perfectionist tendencies and allow life to go with the flow, everything works better.
Remember, life is dynamic, not static, and individualism is a good thing 🙂
You know those people who just seem to always be on top of things and make it look effortless? I am NOT that person.
I have learned that the natural state of my brain is chaos. This is something I have struggled with and reflected upon countless times. I am not the type of person to just say “Well, that’s just the way I am,” and accept it. I am determined to overcome this jumbled brain of mine.
The first step to figuring this out was to uncover exactly why I have such a hard time with this. After much contemplation, I have narrowed down the cause to the very nature of how my brain works. I have a very active mind that overthinks and wants to understand everything, is easily distracted–shifting from topic to topic often–and constantly thinking of new ideas. I also really want to be organized, so my subconscious puts in a great deal of work to try to make sure I remember the things I need and want to do.
At first glace, the majority of those things appear to be positive traits–and they are on their own. In practice, though, it’s like standing in position on an assembly line that’s moving way too fast. By the time you pick up the first piece and get to work on step one, the item for step three is racing by. You try and grab it, but before you know it you have an armful of spare parts, nothing’s finished, and vital pieces are dropping to the floor and rolling all over the place! Not a very productive setup.
To explain why this happens, first you have to understand the “Wheel of Thoughts” that is my mind. My brain views all thoughts the same. Each individual item I am trying to focus on, tasks to remember, new ideas, distractions, worries, etc just cycle through my brain endlessly. Once a thought makes it to the front place in line, the length of time I can hold it’s attention for depends on how many other things there are pushing it along from behind.
The important stuff has A LOT of competition to outshine.
Over the years I have learned different techniques to help keep things in check. The most important of which is The Brain Dump. This basically means spending as long as it takes–usually a few days to a few weeks, to capture every little thought that arises, pull it out of my head and catalog/organize in such a way that I can relax knowing it is not forgotten. I’ve been in the middle of a big dump (oh, yes, my immature mind is gonna go there….).
To try and illustrate this better, let me show you a visual representation of what my mind looked like on Monday of this week, when the dump began:
My Brain on Monday Morning
Every spoke on the wheel is a thought that my brain was struggling to keep “live.”
That’s 68 items that I yanked from my brain on Monday alone. Let’s say the “cycle” is 4 hours. That means each idea is only getting to be in the forefront of my mind for a max of 3.5294 minutes before I get distracted by the next idea.
(This isn’t a set time of course, it varies based upon a multitude of factors. I do know that it gets significantly longer as the list grows.)
As each thought emerges, there are a few possibilities:
I stay focused on that task until getting distracted by another thought. Outcome: Stays on the Wheel
I make a mental note to get to it later and try to go back to what my focus is. Outcome: Stays on the Wheel
I complete the task right then and there (yeah, right). Outcome: Removed from the Wheel
I take a brief moment to write it down, then quickly go back to the important stuff. Outcome: Removed from the Wheel
When not actively making an effort to get and stay organized, it’s pretty much all option 1 or 2.
Needless to say, my days aren’t very productive when left in free fall. It’s a constant fight just to accomplish the basics of my work tasks and home-life responsibilities. No room for new and innovative projects, being creative, or even getting to all the fun things I’d like to do with friends, family, and myself.
Now, let’s look at an illustration of the shape my mind was in this morning (Friday):
My Brain on Friday Morning
That’s just 8 active items. So, let’s say the “cycle” is a shorter 2 hours due to having less items to juggle. That means I can spend 15 minutes on a thought before getting tempted by a distraction. But even more importantly, I have a system in place so that I can instantly grab the random ideas and force them out of my brain, so I move right on back to the good stuff.
Although I am getting more done, it feels like I have way more time to work with, since am not always shifting gears.
Another instant and incredible benefit of the brain dump is that, like magic, the creative and intelligent ideas that have been stifled get a chance to come out and play. (just be ready to write them down right away so you don’t get blocked up again!)
This process is the ONLY thing I have found that can fix my hoarder of a brain.
And this is only after 5 days–there is still a long way to go.
As a wrap up, I’ve got 3 afterthoughts that I must say:
Where I am now is far from perfect. I have specific additional steps to take that will make things even more efficient over the course of the next few weeks. More on that another time. I also want to write down the exact process and tools I use to make sense of the madness, so watch for that in the future.
You have no idea what a big deal it is to get this down. I have explained this verbally to a couple of trusted people in the past, but have always wanted to capture the idea in a permanent format. Now I get to pluck this huge idea out of my head to free up some more space 🙂
And, finally, my insecurities: If you were wondering, YES, I do seriously wonder if it is totally weird for someone to analyze their own brain this much…
How about you?
Can you relate to they way I interpret my mind’s workings, or do you have a completely different mechanism working inside your amazing little cranium?
It’s just after 3am on a Friday morning and I’ve been up for hours.
Sometime earlier this year I read about the daily practice of “morning pages.” I’m not sure where I saw it.
1. It clears up my mind. I’ve already written about how I’ve started to write down all tasks, plans, lists, etc in my planner and my version of a bullet journal which has made me much more productive since I don’t spend all my time thinking about and trying to remember things. But now that the “to-do’s” are cleared out, instead it is concepts, ideas, and philosophies that are causing some brain blockage. The morning pages habit give me an outlet to spew out some of that mind clutter and makes me more efficient.
Ahh, The Bullet Journal. AKA The BuJo. (Never heard of it? 
