Author: girlryan

Snapping back into line

Hey y’all. Back after some time away from the blog.

I spend a lot of time using YouTube and Instagram for my preferred social media/communication outlet, but have been feeling a change.

So to start, a quick wrap of where I’m at…mentally.

I spent most of the last year working on improving my eating habits and starting to lose weight. Had some success and have been maintaining for the most part. However, after a certain point I kind of hit a wall.

The wall didn’t just mean no more weight loss. It meant a shift in my current stage of personal growth. While I had really benefited from the Fitsagram and YouTube channel (which primarily focused on weight loss), when I plateaued I realized that I still had a lot more mental work to do on myself. And that’s why I’m here now.

There are a number of works in progress in my head, but I’ve been bumping up against another common obstacle of mine–having a hard time translating what’s in my head into actual progress in the real world. When that happens (and it’s happened more times than I can to remember) it usually means that it is time for a cleanup and overhaul of my current situation.

For that to happen, I need to break out of whatever programming loop I’ve been stuck in and be very purposeful, analytical, and in tune with myself. More specifically to tune my personal energy back to the frequency that feels true to myself. I know that may sound weird, but I assure it makes perfect sense to me. I’ll get into more of that at a later date so it can hopefully make sense to you, too, reader.

For today, this is me taking action on a calling. Nearly each night I feel the urge to write. Sometimes it’s writing down ideas, developing old plans further, or maybe writing my intentions for the coming day. Whichever it is, I know that it is the right step to take, yet the old programming gets in the way and the rut trudges on.

The main lesson of the day:

Ideas & Intentions? = NADA

Ideas & Action? = Progress

I am ready for action and progress again, and I choose to take those steps which my true self has been telling me to take.

(Our) Ultimate Halloween Playlist – UPDATED 2018!

Yeah, so Halloween is kinda my jam. The highlight of my favorite season is our yearly adults-only Halloween party. This is the one time of the year where we party like teenagers- loud music, lots of booze, people crashing everywhere and anywhere in the wee hours of the morning–you get the picture.

Over the years a big piece of getting the atmosphere right has been the music. My Halloween playlist is a bit of a baby of mine. Every year as the party approaches I make new additions, cull the duds, and prep for the big day.

Since I have so many hours into collecting all these songs, I thought it would be a public service to share the list to hopefully make someone else’s first-time Halloween party planning a little easier.

About the list: Most of the songs are directly Halloween related, but some are not. There’s also a spattering of random party songs and guest requests that have made it through the cut–because sometimes you need a break from the screaming loud metal for a fun dance song, right? I know not everyone will agree that all these songs have a place on the Ultimate Halloween Playlist- and that is why it’s (Our) Ultimate Halloween Playlist.

So, here goes. 186 songs. 11.5 hours of Halloween party tunes. Feel free to borrow from it, and add/remove to make it your own!

Have a suggestion for next year’s party? Comment below!

Name Time Album Artist
1 Abracadabra 5:08 Abracadabra Steve Miller Band
2 Add It Up 4:44 Permanent Record: The Very Best of the… Violent Femmes
3 All Star 3:22 ’90s Rock Number 1’s Smash Mouth
4 American Horror Story 4:22 American Horror Story – Single The Shanklin Freak Show
5 American Horror Story (Ending Theme) 0:40 American Horror Story (Music from TV S. AHS Project
6 American Horror Story (Main Title Theme) 1:05 American Horror Story (Music from TV S. AHS Project
7 Animals 5:04 Animals – Single Martin Garrix
8 Another Brick In the Wall, Pt. 2 3:59 The Wall (Remastered) Pink Floyd
9 B.Y.O.B. 4:15 Mezmerize System Of A Down
10 Baby, You Ain’t Looking Right (Instrume… 2:05 American Horror Story (Music from TV S. AHS Project
11 Back In Black 4:16 Back In Black AC/DC
12 Back in Time (featured in “Men in Black… 3:27 Global Warming (Deluxe Version) Pitbull
13 Basket Case 3:02 Dookie Green Day
14 Bat Country 5:12 City of Evil Avenged Sevenfold
15 The Beautiful People 3:43 Lest We Forget – The Best of Marilyn Ma. Marilyn Manson
16 Beetlejuice: Main Titles / End Titles 3:43 Music for a Darkened Theatre – Film and. Danny Elfman
17 Big Riddim Monsta 4:09 Big Riddim Monsta – Single Dodge & Fuski & 12th Planet
18 Blister In the Sun 2:24 Permanent Record: The Very Best of the. Violent Femmes
19 Bloody Atmosphere 2:10 Halloween Strangers VHS Glitch
20 Boogie Woogie Wu 4:25 Jugganauts – The Best of ICP Insane Clown Posse
21 Boogieman Nights 4:52 Halloween Party: 16 Scary Songs The Ikemen
22 Braineaters (William Carney Mix) 6:06 Remixed And Dubstepped EP Skoof
23 Bullet With Butterfly Wings 4:18 Whatever: Alt Rock Hits of the ’90s Smashing Pumpkins
24 Callgurls 3:15 #1 – EP Handbraekes
25 Calling All the Monsters 3:27 A.N.T. Farm China Anne McClain
26 Can’t Be Tamed 2:48 Can’t Be Tamed Miley Cyrus
27 The Carnival 3:48 Hymns for the Haunted Amanda Jenssen
28 Carousel 3:51 Cry Baby (Deluxe Edition) Melanie Martinez
29 Carousel 3:50 Dollhouse – EP Melanie Martinez
30 Chainsaw Slasher 4:37 Halloween Strangers VHS Glitch
31 Closer 6:13 The Downward Spiral Nine Inch Nails
32 C’mon Feel the Noise 4:45 Dancing Rock The Band
33 Come to Daddy (Pappy Mix) 4:23 Come to Daddy Aphex Twin
34 Crazy Train 4:50 The Essential Ozzy Osbourne Ozzy Osbourne
35 Crime Scene 0:53 Halloween Strangers VHS Glitch
36 Cry Baby 3:59 Cry Baby (Deluxe Edition) Melanie Martinez
37 Cupid Carries a Gun 4:59 THE PALE EMPEROR (Deluxe Edition) Marilyn Manson
38 Danger (feat. Boys Noize) 3:56 VOID RL Grime
39 Danger Mystery 0:18 UNDERTALE Soundtrack Toby Fox
40 Dark Horse (feat. Juicy J) 3:36 PRISM (Deluxe Version) Katy Perry
41 Dead & Bloated 5:10 Core Stone Temple Pilots
42 Dead Bodies 3:44 Halloween Strangers VHS Glitch
43 Dead Man’s Party 6:22 Dead Man’s Party Oingo Boingo
44 Dead Walker Texas Ranger 3:30 Dead Walker Texas Ranger – Single Sleeping With Sirens
45 Deadpool Rap (X-Force Remix from “De… 2:21 Deadpool Rap (X-Force Remix from “De… Teamheadkick
46 Derezzed 1:44 TRON: Legacy (Original Motion Picture S. Daft Punk
47 Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap 3:52 Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap AC/DC
48 Disturbia 3:59 Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded Rihanna
49 Doin’ the Zombie 3:11 Halloween Party: 16 Scary Songs Chubby Checker
50 Dollhouse 3:52 Cry Baby (Deluxe Edition) Melanie Martinez
51 (Don’t Fear) The Reaper 5:06 Agents of Fortune Blue Oyster Cult
52 Double Trouble 1:37 Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaba. John Williams
53 E.T. 3:26 Teenage Dream (Deluxe Edition) Katy Perry
54 EDM Death Machine 4:23 Haunted House – EP Knife Party
55 Enter Sandman 5:32 Metallica Metallica
56 Epilogue – The Pennywise Dance 0:36 It (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) Benjamin Wallfisch
57 Escape or Die 4:02 Halloween Strangers VHS Glitch
58 Fall Children 3:13 All Hallows EP AFI
59 Fancy (feat. Charli XCX) 3:20 The New Classic (Deluxe Version) Iggy Azalea
60 The Final Countdown 5:10 The Final Countdown Europe
61 Flagpole Sitta 3:37 Where Have All the Merrymakers Gone? Harvey Danger
62 Freakshow 2:55 Blackout (Bonus Track Version) Britney Spears
63 Ghostbusters 4:05 Ghostbusters (Original Soundtrack Albu… Ray Parker, Jr.
64 Gods & Monsters 3:58 Paradise Lana Del Rey
65 Great Milenko 1:56 The Great Milenko Insane Clown Posse
66 Halloween 5:08 Before These Crowded Streets Dave Matthews Band
67 Halloween 3:42 Juju Siouxsie and the Banshees
68 Halloween Strangers 4:27 Halloween Strangers VHS Glitch
69 Halloweenhead 3:24 Easy Tiger Ryan Adams
70 Harder Better Faster Stronger 3:45 Discovery Daft Punk
71 He Sees You 4:43 Halloween Strangers VHS Glitch
72 The Headless Horseman 2:14 Walt Disney Records Archive Collection,. Thurl Ravenscroft
73 Headless Horseman (feat. Shea) 3:33 Slaughter In the Suburbs Kid Kasino
74 Hellifornia 3:41 Aleph Gesaffelstein
75 Hey Ya! 3:55 Speakerboxxx/The Love Below OutKast
76 Highway to Hell 3:28 Highway to Hell AC/DC
77 Hits from the Bong 2:41 Black Sunday Cypress Hill
78 House of 1000 Corpses 3:44 House of 1000 Corpses (Original Motion. Rob Zombie
79 House of Horrors 4:20 The Great Milenko Insane Clown Posse
80 House of the Rising Sun 4:28 Golden Oldies Super Hits – A Collection. The Animals
81 House of the Rising Sun 3:05 Covers Lauren O’Connell
82 House Of Wolves 3:04 The Black Parade My Chemical Romance
83 Humans Are Such Easy Prey 4:23 Dangerous Days Perturbator
84 Hungry Like the Wolf 3:25 Greatest Duran Duran
85 Hurt 6:14 The Downward Spiral Nine Inch Nails
86 I Don’t Like the Drugs (But the Drugs Lik. 5:03 Mechanical Animals Marilyn Manson
87 Insane In the Brain 3:28 Black Sunday Cypress Hill
88 Internet Friends (VIP) 5:01 Haunted House – EP Knife Party
89 Jeremy 5:19 Rearviewmirror – Greatest Hits 1991-2003 Pearl Jam
90 Jump In the Line 3:39 Very Best of Harry Belafonte Harry Belafonte
91 Just Dance 4:02 The Fame Lady GaGa & Colby O’Donis
92 Kill Everybody 4:58 Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites Skrillex
93 Lake Of Fire 2:56 MTV Unplugged In New York [Live] Nirvana
94 Let’s Dance (Single Version) [2002 Rema… 4:05 Best of Bowie David Bowie
95 Li’l Red Riding Hood (Re-Recorded) 2:43 Wooly Bully / Li’l Red Riding Hood (Re-R. Sam the Sham & The Pharaohs
96 Lit Up 3:37 ’90s Rock Number 1’s Buckcherry
97 Living Dead Girl 3:21 Hellbilly Deluxe Rob Zombie
98 Look What You Made Me Do 3:32 reputation Taylor Swift
99 Love Potion No. 9 1:55 Halloween Party: 16 Scary Songs The Clovers
100 Lrad 5:15 Haunted House – EP Knife Party
101 Lullaby 4:11 Greatest Hits The Cure
102 Lump 2:14 The Presidents of the United States of A. The Presidents of the United States of A.
103 Magic Dance 5:11 Labyrinth (Original Soundtrack of the Ji. David Bowie
104 Meet the Creeper 3:13 Hellbilly Deluxe Rob Zombie
105 Mind Playing Tricks on Me 5:09 We Can’t Be Stopped Geto Boys
106 Miracles 5:13 Bang! Pow! Boom! (Nuclear Edition) Insane Clown Posse
107 Miracles 5:13 Bang! Pow! Boom! Nuclear Insane Clown Posse
108 Moar Ghosts ‘n’ Stuff 4:30 For Lack of a Better Name (Bonus Track. deadmau5
109 Monster 2:41 Something Real & Here, Here and Here Meg & Dia
110 Monster 7:55 Monster (Remonstered) One-Eyed Doll
111 The Monster (feat. Rihanna) 4:10 The Marshall Mathers LP2 (Deluxe) Eminem
112 Monster Mash 3:19 Halloween Party: 16 Scary Songs Bobby “Boris” Pickett
113 More Human Than Human 4:29 Astro-Creep: 2000 White Zombie
114 Mortified 3:59 Disco Inferno Delta 9
115 Murder House 2:16 American Horror Story (Music from TV S. AHS Project
116 A New Beginning 4:53 I Remembered but Then I Forgot Wolfie’s Just Fine
117 Nightmare 6:14 Nightmare (Deluxe Version) Avenged Sevenfold
118 A Nightmare On My Street (Single Versi… 4:59 Will Smith: Greatest Hits DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince
119 One More Time 5:20 Discovery Daft Punk
120 Ooo 0:14 UNDERTALE Soundtrack Toby Fox
121 Paranoid 3:30 Something Wrong Here – EP Rezz
122 Party In the U.S.A. 3:23 Party In the U.S.A. – Single Miley Cyrus
123 People Are Strange 2:11 When You’re Strange (Songs from the M. The Doors
124 Pet Sematary 3:33 Hey Ho Let’s Go – Greatest Hits (Remast. Ramones
125 Power Glove 4:21 Haunted House – EP Knife Party
126 Primal Scream 4:47 Greatest Hits (Deluxe Version) Motley Crtie
127 Psycho Killer 4:20 The Best of Talking Heads (Remastered) Talking Heads
128 Pumped Up Kicks 4:00 Torches Foster the People
129 Purple People Eater 2:14 Halloween Party: 16 Scary Songs Sheb Wooley
130 Quote Unquote 6:57 Mr. Bungle Mr. Bungle
131 Rhiannon 4:13 Fleetwood Mac: Greatest Hits Fleetwood Mac
132 Runnin’ With the Devil 3:35 Van Halen Van Halen
133 Sally’s Song 3:02 Nightmare Revisited Amy Lee
134 Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites 4:03 Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites Skrillex
135 Science Fiction / Double Feature 4:32 The Rocky Horror Picture Show (Soundtr. Richard O’Brien
136 Season of the Witch 4:54 Sunshine Superman Donovan
137 She Blinded Me With Science 3:43 The Golden Age of Wireless Thomas Dolby
138 Shout At the Devil 3:15 Shout At the Devil Motley Crue
139 Silver Shamrock Commercial (From the… 1:36 Halloween: The Sound of Evil – Music fro. Dominik Hauser
140 The Snake 3:30 Halloween Party: 16 Scary Songs Al Wilson
141 Somebody’s Watching Me (Hi_Tack Club… 6:21 Somebody’s Watching Me Beatfreakz
142 Spooked (feat. DJ Craze) 3:36 All Trap Music Bro Safari
143 Spookwave 0:25 UNDERTALE Soundtrack Toby Fox
144 Spooky 2:38 Halloween Party: 16 Scary Songs Classics IV
145 Spooky Dooky 3:08 Slaughter In the Suburbs Kid Kasino
146 Stranger Things 1:08 Stranger Things, Vol. 1 (A Netflix Origina. Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein
147 Stress 4:59 Cross Justice
148 Sugar 2:34 System of a Down (Bonus Pack) System of a Down
149 Supermassive Black Hole 3:32 Supermassive Black Hole – Single Muse
150 Superstition 4:26 Stevie Wonder: The Definitive Collection Stevie Wonder
151 Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) 4:51 Lest We Forget – The Best of Marilyn Ma. Marilyn Manson
152 Sweet Transvestite 3:24 The Rocky Horror Picture Show (Soundtr. Tim Curry
153 T.N.T. 3:35 High Voltage AC/DC
154 Teenagers 2:42 The Black Parade My Chemical Romance
155 The Hills 4:02 Beauty Behind the Madness The Weeknd
156 Theme from “Friday the 13th” 3:40 Horror Movie Madness – Halloween Edit. Robert J. Walsh
157 Theme from “Halloween” 3:49 Horror Movie Madness – Halloween Edit. Matt Fink
158 Theme from “Twilight Zone” 0:18 Horror Movie Madness – Halloween Edit. Matt Fink
159 They Are Coming 2:58 Halloween Strangers VHS Glitch
160 This House Is Haunted 3:31 The Eyes of Alice Cooper Alice Cooper
161 This Is America 3:46 This Is America – Single Childish Gambino
162 This Is Halloween 3:17 Nightmare Before Christmas (Special Edi. The Citizens of Halloween
163 This Is Halloween 3:22 Nightmare Revisited Marilyn Manson
164 Thrift Shop (feat. Wanz) 3:56 The Heist Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
165 Thriller (Single Version) 5:13 The Essential Michael Jackson Michael Jackson
166 Time Warp 3:19 The Rocky Horror Picture Show (Soundtr. Little Nell, Patricia Quinn & Richard O’Br.
167 Tubular Bells (Theme from “The Exorcist”) 3:49 Horror Movie Madness – Halloween Edit. Matt Fink
168 Twisted Nerve 1:15 American Horror Story (Music from TV S. AHS Project
169 Under Pressure 3:56 Best of Bowie David Bowie & Queen
170 Until the Last Drop of Blood 4:29 Halloween Strangers VHS Glitch
171 Wait and Bleed 2:28 Slipknot Slipknot
172 We Can’t Stop 3:51 Bangerz (Deluxe Version) Miley Cyrus
173 Welcome to Hell 4:56 Disco Inferno Delta 9
174 Welcome To The Black Parade 5:11 The Black Parade My Chemical Romance
175 Werewolf Bar Mitzvah 2:53 30 Rock (Original Television Soundtrack) Jeff Richmond & Tracy Morgan
176 Werewolves of London 3:29 Excitable Boy (Remastered) Warren Zevon
177 Where Did You Sleep Last Night 5:08 MTV Unplugged In New York [Live] Nirvana
178 Wild Thing 2:34 Halloween Party: 16 Scary Songs The Troggs
179 Witch Doctor 2:21 Halloween Party: 16 Scary Songs Sha Na Na
180 X-Files Theme ( Snow – Newman / Twen. 0:57 Halloween Scream Themes / Horror Mo. Halloween Scream Themes / Horror Mo.
181 Years Ago 2:52 Welcome to My Nightmare Alice Cooper
182 You Idiot 0:35 UNDERTALE Soundtrack Toby Fox
183 You’re Dead Norma Tanega 1966.wmv 2:25
184 Zombie 5:06 Whatever: Alt Rock Hits of the ’90s The Cranberries
185 Zombies, March 4:34 Bloody Pit of Horror GWAR
186 14:54 4:51 09/14 2007 – EP Danger

Undoing what was done in shame

A while back I restarted my journey to get healthy. (It’s going awesome, by the way!)

When I did, I came on here and looked back at all of my old weight-related blog posts and felt a ashamed and embarrassed. I left like if I leave up my failed attempts, it’s going to make people this that this time is going to be a failure, too. So, I made them all private.

Part of my personal growth is to be cognizant of these things and, when recognized, correct them. That’s what this short post is all about.

Today, right after I publish this, I’m going to set them all to “public” again. I want to own all of myself and my story. My life is one of many ups and downs, but always with an overreaching upwards arc. And I’m proud of that.

 

Back in the game

At the start of the new year I made a commitment to myself to stop procrastinating and get my health in order once and for all. 

Yeah, I know I’ve said it before. But I’m not going to let that convince me that I can’t do it.

I originally jumped right in with trying to lose weight again, and it was very slow and up and down- only lost about 5 pounds in almost two months. During that time, I did a lot of mental work and reflection about my lifelong battle with eating. I’ve only said this openly to a select few people in my life, but I have finally accepted that this is an addiction. It’s not just lack of motivation or willpower. I am a food addict, and have been for pretty much my entire life. I’ll talk more about what that means in a future post, but the main reason I’m mentioning it here is that it changed the way I think about and approach my weight loss journey.

I really kicked things into gear mid-February and have stuck with an eating plan for just over 6 weeks now. As of today, I’m down 21.2 pounds so far. And I’m feeling very positive and confident about this finally being my time.

I’ve also decided to shift most of my weight loss posts in some other formats rather then a ton of daily/weekly posts here on the blog. Primarily, via a vlog on YouTube. Plus, I have created an Instagram account dedicated to this journey. You can follow me at wellroundedryan there. I’m also doing a sporadic journal over on the DietBet.com website, since I just joined a few there and that is a community more focused on that topic. You can find my profile there, if you care to follow me.

As you know if you’ve read my previous posts, a big part of my personal growth alongside my weight loss is to stop hiding. For so long I’ve avoided posting full body photos, talking about my weight, etc. On top of that, I’m painfully introverted, so it’s hard for me to put myself out there.

Now’s the time to find my voice and be the real me to the rest of the world 🙂 So, on the right you’ll find my brutally honest weigh in photo for the DietBet I’m about to start.

I’ll probably still pop in here from time to time with “rebuilding my body” posts, but it will be more of the big picture vs. the day-to-day nitty gritty of eating and exercise.

Now, back to it.

And the real life lesson is….

Today social media helped to reinforce something important after I posted a depressing and pessimistic status on Facebook.
I got blindsided by a punch to the heart earlier, and it sucked. For me, it helps a little to share how I am feeling, hence me sharing it there.
 
I thought about just deleting it, but changed my mind and instead am choosing to give a reminder:
 
Sometimes life hurts, and in that moment it seems like it’ll feel that way forever–even if logically you know better.
 
But, if you let yourself feel your pain and process it however you need to, the sooner you’ll get past it.
 
Today it just took an afternoon to feel ok again.
 
At my worst, it was a good 6 months of what felt like hopeless darkness and despair.
 
The same shitty thing still happened. It wasn’t a misunderstanding and nothing happened to somehow resolve the situation. I just let myself feel what I was feeling and worked through it the best I could instead of retaliating, stifling my feelings, or further victimizing myself.
 
You’ve probably felt that way before.
Maybe you are feeling that way right now.
Chances are it will happen again at sometime during your time here in the universe.
 
But remember:
Pain is temporary, and life gets better.

Choose a Direction

Everybody makes mistakes in life. That is unavoidable.
The things in our past that some may consider “mistakes” cannot be undone, and they all play a part in creating the version of us that exists today.

But, there is an important factor to reflect upon when reviewing your own progress in life or in assessing another individual:

A person on a positive life path, or someone you may define as a “good” person will own their mistakes, learn from them, alter their behavior, and try to make amends.

A “bad” person will deny, lie, make excuses, create diversions & cover up the truth–all while continuing the offense and likely adopting increasingly more harmful behaviors.

Which do you want to be?

What kind of people do you want to spend your life in close contact with?

Which do you want to be in positions of leadership on our planet?

Yeah. So I posted this on FB today and then realized I should probably add this here, too.

I’ve really been wanting to write something on my blog about why family and politics is so damn confusing, but the more I think about it, the most frustrating it gets. It can be so hard trying to identify why you think the way you think and why others think in their fashion.

Plus, it would require airing some loud truths. Not that I mind personally, but I know it wouldn’t be well-received. I also think that people can be very blind to the reality of their words, actions, and impacts, and I’m not sure how to bring up those issues in a meaningful way.

Shit. I would probably need to do a whole series to cover all this crap.

I don’t even know why I am writing this here….just working through some things and testing the waters, I suppose. I haven’t been doing well on “expressing my voice and my story” thing these past several months because life has been offering lots of crappy things in quick succession lately that have been great distractions.

Sure, I post political and ideological news often, but it’s hard to be so open about the very personal stories and thoughts that related to them.

But wanting to get back to it, because it felt good and felt right.
So, I guess this is a start.

Life gets in the way

Lately I’ve been really stuck and can’t seem to get going.

Artax stuck in the mud is pretty much my spirit animal right now.

From October of last year through about March, I was doing great. Making constant progress with organization and mental clarity, learning new things, completing projects, exploring my creativity, and putting myself out in the world more.

Then some major life things started creeping in and won’t seem to let go. I’m not going to lie and say “Oh I haven’t had the time.” The truth is, my mind hasn’t had the space and energy. It’s not just one thing. It’s been a cluster of things happening with so many people that I love. Then, a few weeks ago, I had the biggest bomb drop in my lap and that just completely took over.

It was like I had a lot of external things to give a shit about and then one giant smothering turd landed on top and that rules my thoughts since.

I’ve shoveled away the main parts of the mess that were blocking me from even seeing the rest of the world, but I’m not in the clear yet. Now I’m trying to get up and start walking again, but I’m slipping around on the all the original problems and still feeling the weight of the monster of a problem that has infiltrated my life.

On the plus side, I haven’t lost most of the habits and changes that I started–just haven’t made any further progress.

This week I might have moved like a couple of inches. Better than nothing, I guess. I mean, I’m here, aren’t I?

I’m back

Forcing myself to write because it’s been far too long.

It’s late, so I won’t say much.

My head is buzzing and there are so many things to do and say and share.

I’ll be back with more. I think I really just needed to break the silence and say SOMETHING.

That is all.