So, it’s only the first day of this new schedule and the whole day got away from me without me writing. But, I have remembered now and I will get a post in before I get busy for the rest of the evening. I think I need to set a reminder for myself on my phone!
So….love.
Yep. Love.
This is a topic that I have resisted writing about because of the good old “fear of judgement” thing. I imagine people thinking “How can someone who just went through all that be thinking about love again???” But I know that’s the negative self-talk and fear speaking.
In reality, I am fully comfortable and confident in everything that is going on and I am not ashamed.
So, long story short–I am completely, insanely, and wonderfully in love with the most extraordinary man. I wasn’t looking for it, and neither was he, and yet, here we are.
It’s kind of a messy story. In fact, I’ve known him for quite sometime as an friend/acquaintance. Even more complicating, he was also a victim of this big explosion of betrayal that took place back in August. We ended up connecting on a deeper level as we kind of leaned on each other to help get through this. It was nice to have someone to talk to who at least kind of “got” what it was that you were going through. There were plenty of sympathetic ears, but the two of us just being free to vent and wallow in the horrible feelings was cathartic.
And then, suddenly, a spark. A spark that blossomed quite quickly into a deep appreciation for each other. There was this huge feeling of “how did we miss this all these years?” Of course, we knew the answer–it was that we were both committed to other relationships and aren’t the type to even have anything like that on our radar. So, we found ourselves with these unexpected and wonderful feelings and just decided to take it one day at a time.
We were both very skeptical at first. I knew darn well that there was a good chance that this was a product of the mess we were in and we were just clinging to something that felt good when everything else felt so bad.
And yet as more and more time went by, it was unavoidable that the feelings were real.
I have a lot more to write about that process because–trust me–falling in love and learning to trust someone else is NOT an easy challenge. I still struggle with things and find myself second guessing every little thing.
But..this guy. Wow. He has surpassed all hopes and expectations and turned out to be everything that I didn’t even know that I wanted and I needed.
It’s seriously amazing. I’ve never felt more loved in my entire life.
My friends and family know about us already. I just thought I would take the time to be open and honest about it here on on my other social media as this is a huge part of my story and what I am sharing about.
It’s much too beautiful to hide any longer.
**I get into the “other stuff” in the video in Part 2 here.**